After Donald Trump asked Long Island voters, “What do you have to lose?” Stephen Colbert was quick to respond. During his opening monologue on “The Late Show,” the CBS host unveiled a long list of jokes.
“What you have to lose,” Colbert began after adjusting his glasses. “Democracy, reproductive rights, intelligence, the environment, the Department of Education, the ability to look our grandchildren in the eye, the ability to wear red hats again, the support of our allies and the McNugget Strategic Reserve.”
Trump’s Long Island rally is part of the presidential candidate’s attempt to win New York, which is historically one of the most Democratic states in the country. At the same rally, Trump promised to win over New York’s blue-collar workers. To give you an idea of how difficult that will be, Trump previously lost the state by 23 points in both 2016 and 2020.
“Oh, people love you in New York, sir,” Colbert said. “In fact, just this summer, Trump won the unanimous vote of 12 of his peers.”
Colbert was in a silly mood Thursday night. Talking about Harris’s $10 million campaign, Colbert took on the character of Tony Pepperoni, a guy who’s only interested in getting “some beer and wings” and voting “for whoever you want.” It involved a half-Chicago, half-Brooklyn accent, and included Colbert saying “Go ahead” and fighting for a woman named Brenda.
The late-night host even managed a Biden impression. After playing a clip of Trump talking about 12-cent burgers at the White House, the camera panned to Colbert wearing aviator sunglasses.
“How are you? Jack, you got me kicked out of the race talking about old-fashioned stuff… you know, pony troopers and alley cats. But can you stay there even if I’m talking about 12-cent hamburgers?” Colbert said as President Biden. “Back in my day a hamburger cost you a button and a half.” Watch the full monologue above.
